Dear diary,

it's been a long time since I've written in my diary but my life is currently a mess, so I tought it would be a good idea to write my toughts down.

A few weeks ago my dad decided that I should marry my cousin, whose dad owns the Bombay stock exchange. Well, I don't even love her so I don't wanna marry her just because her dad seems to be rich. A marriage without love doesn't make sense for me, altough it's normal here in India. Unfortuately my dad doesn't understand my point of view, so he's not letting me go home until I say yes.

I was so confused and didn't know what to do and where to go, so I acted in the heat of moment, packed some stuff and nicked some cash and credit cards from my uncle and took an airplane to Bangalore. When I entered the hotel, I met Dave again. I felt kinda happy to see him again, because I knew I wouldn't be alone on my journey. After telling Dave what happend, I asked him if he want to join me on my trip to Kovalam, to have fun with some girls before it's too late and he said yes! I paid cause I wanted to live in a good hotel. The next day we were off to the hotel and as soon as we arrived, I took Dave with me to buy sióme new clothes for him. In the first night I've already met an indian girl, but even if I spent a night with her she actually was a bit too young for my taste. In the afternoon we took the speedboat to a beach where we met to feminin friends of Dave, Fee and Caz. This encounter was kinda akward, because Caz seems to be somewhere else in her mind. We allowed them to stay with us in our 2 rooms, which was the worst idea. After I ordered four breakfasts to my single room, the boss of the hotel came and found out that we're four not two. He told me stuff like 'You people have no morals' and we should left his hotel. His words really hit me. Do I really have no morals? I mean, I stole money from a familymember and I don't appreciate the things my dad does for me. And the worst I did, was getting amerciable when I faked my uncles sign to pay for the hotel. I'm really confused this time and I think I will go back to my family, apologize and say yes to the marriage. I really feel bad about the things I did.

I hope things will get better.